Tuesday, November 30, 2010

..cloud reading..

years and years ago
while in my primary school

i was in an assembly
bored to death
having to listen to all the chatter
which never meant for me
i was the good kid
but i'm not that nice

then a friend came to me
and asked me to look at the sky
i remember
the sky was merry with clouds that day
lots of smallish clouds
pardon my english
but i don't know how to describe this kind of cloud

it looks like this
i witnessed this last week
and suddenly reminded of the memory

how would you  describe this?
teach me =)

then my friend asked me
whether i know what does it mean
when the clouds were like this

how could i know?
i don't take any cloud-reading lessons
so she told me
according to her uncle
*i'm sorry if her uncle is lying*
it means that it is a good day for fishing
this cloud represent the merryness of fish in the sea
need any verification?
ask any fisherman you know
i was an ignorant
i don't seek for verification
am happy just the way it is
cheers =)

..kore shika nai..

 i had to use japanese for the title
i love that phrase
in english it would somewhat mean
"none other than this"
or in bahasa
"tiada selain ini"

that's the topic for this post
whenever i watched japanese dramas
most of them will have this theme
fighting for the thing you love the most
this is like a definite theme
somehow they love to point to you
if this is the thing you want most in life
fight for it!

like in this drama i'm currentlty re-watching
*its one of my fav!*
Yasuko to Kenji
the main actor, kenji, used to be a yankee (gangster) in his old days
when both his parents died he turns for the better for his younger sister yasuko
and decided to be a mangaka (comic artist)
as a mangaka he used a woman pen name
and draw shoujo manga (comic for girls, usually of love theme)
until one day the tabloid found out his true identity
since people felt deceived
he somewhat had to give up his pen
that's when he said
"i have nothing other than this"

then i started to think
what am i fighting for
do i really want to be an architect?
will be an architect satisfy my desire?
or a mangaka?
it is my passion but is it what i really want to do?
or perhaps a writer?
i do have some short stories written back then
or maybe an entertainer?
all surveys done prove entertainment is a good field for me
even better, an entrepreneur?
i love to get involve more with my creative side
what do i really want to do?

i can answer that
i want to do ALL of them

is this greed?
i can't say it is
i'm one of those people
who just love to do new things
while storing the previous knowledge for later use
learning is my forte

i for one
would not want to do the same thing for the rest of my life
life is full with surprises
and by all means
surprise me!
good or bad
i'd take it any time any where

but i think
drawing gonna stay with me all the way
as i love to call myself
pelukis tegar

p/s: watch Yasuko to Kenji! it's goood!!
it's cho omoshiroi!!!
*so entertaining!!*
love love love
intrigued? ;)

Monday, November 29, 2010

..when fuji give lesson..

teet teet teet
there it goes again
always the same problem
the same message appear on the screen

oh fujixerox, what now?
install media?
the media is there already
and out of fifty-ish people there
no one know how to fix this?
no one intend of sharing the solution?
you guys love to leave me hanging!
 had to have lots of patience dealing with the crowd

waited for the fujixerox person
got a personal lesson to deal with it
it worked
i love learning new stuff
makes me feel knowledgeable

thank you fujixerox
if you didn't hang
i wouldn't know how to solve it

another lesson learnt
means another lesson to give

how to fix it?
you just go to media setting
and set the media to the media you want
its ISO for me
i print A1 and A0 all the time
someone had used it for different paper
and didn't change it back
 so that's what i did

thank you

..aduhai kak afra ku sayang..

tadi saya rasa seperti mahu fokus menulis blog
lalu saya menukar status di yahoo messenger
"seirus menulis"
jari jemari laju menaip
"enter" ditekan

saya terus ke dashboard
mengenalpasti post-post yang sudah berada di laman
dan seperti dirancang
bermacam-macam idea menulis muncul di kepala
laju jariku menulis
mampu mengalahkan harimau bintang yang masuk olimpik
sangat dahsyat bukan?
sudah past tidak selaju itu
sila jangan tertipu

saya teruskan menulis
sekejap sekejap
kak afra terjah melalui yahoo messenger
agak aneh disitu
bagi sesiapa yang mengenal kak ara
ini sangat aneh kerana
kak afra bukan seorang penerjah
dia bertanyakan status yahoo messenger saya
lantas saya melayannya
walaupun idea mencurah-curah
ditampung sebentar melayan kak afra
seketika kemudian dia hilang
kemudian muncul semula
barangkali sedang makan chipsmore
soalan yang sama
mengenai status saya
saya mengajukan semula soalan kepadanya
tidak perlu serius ke?
saya terkejut membaca jawapannya
mata mula fokus bila perkataan itu di bold
"kenape mesti seirus?"
selama ber-yahoo messenger dengan kak afra
setiap perkataan serius yang dia tulis dieja seirus
saya serius tidak perasan typo tersebut 

pengajaran untuk hari ini:
kak afra
mesti punya sebab untuk terjah


Sunday, November 28, 2010

..work and pleasure..

the title block were made for reference
reference for us draughters
in order to get everything syncronized
having a blank paper with just title block on it
what do you think i'd do?
i'd draw of course
the girls were drawn in the office
i took it home to finish them
and later strap it up in my workstation
for inspiration

work can always be pleasure
or so i think :)



..popia thanksgiving..

nov 25th was thanksgiving in the us
in the mood of thanksgiving
instead of turkey
papa bear gave us

popia basah
(wet spring roll? hehe)

it's was delicious and huge!!

kak afra with her usual expression

happy thanksgiving papa bear!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

..what's with you guys?..

seriously i don't understand
what have the people become?
it used to be easier!
back then
when you got the wrong number
you'd say
"i'm sorry, it was a mistake."
if you have virtues that is
if you're one of those morale-less people
you'd hang up right away
either way
i was fine with it
i don't take it as rude to hang up
i took it as hugely embarrassed
oh how i wish people are so like that now

everytime i received a wrong number
i have to endure the disturbance
it's already a wrong number
what give you the right to keep on bugging me
all the misscalls
all the messages
and they're all over the place
while in meeting
while i'm sleeping
while i'm working
while i'm driving
while i'm praying
spare me please!
don't you have other things to do?!
showing that you have so much time to bug me
my silent attitude does NOT imply on playing hard to get
and when i stated i'm not interested
you condemned me for being arrogant
how shallow minded!
please protect me from creatures like you!

stop taking advantage of mobile phones
respect my privacy
have fear with the people
they can do extraordinary unexpected things when pushed over the limit
don't push it

mode: rage
picture courtesy of afraphotos

Friday, November 26, 2010

..should have been better..

it was miss boss' birthday on nov 24th
i remember her birthday
if you ask me when her birthday is
i could answer you
but somehow that day
i didn't connect the 24th nov with her at all

on 23rd nov
out of sleepiness
i made something with a draft paper
it turns out good
so i fill it with sweets and decided to give it to miss boss

 the gift

but she said she was not in the mood to receive
"tomorrow" she said
i should have known!
she's hinting on her birthday!
and yet
i did not once cross my mind

early morning nov 24th
as miss boss arrived she said
"ok, now i'm in the mood to receive this"
i said ok
that's when she blurted out
"aiya kamu orang! it's my birthday la!"
i was so ashamed
i adore her so much and yet i missed it
then again
she should have given us until noon at least to figure it out
but maybe that's her style

that day she decided to went up the hill to pray
kak afra and i tagged along
there's small shelter for prayer

 prayer taking place

the view on top was superb

piling forest~ click for better view~

fab3a up and running
even the sight of the photographer afra was captivating

 angle is everything

 in action

so immersed wit it
 doing a 360 degree

even the bridge
satisfied? ehehh :)
so in the end
eventhough unplanned
those rubbish i made was her birthday present
 together with a bookmark i drew later that day
i'll post the comic here one day

we went straight to US Pizza after work to celebrate (read: eat)
joined by our very own mobile encyclopedia chan
or "hang tau" as miss boss prefered
kak afra and i planned to pay for the dinner
but miss boss beat us to it
i've got to learn the skills to pay
then chan "hang tau" bought us ticket for
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1)
i'm not posting reviews
since my sisters haven't watch them yet
someday if i remember

that's how miss boss birthday went
as titled
it should have been better
but i'm still pleased with the outcome
appreciate the little things remember =)

..happiness formula..

i made this for hanim
loud and fun to be with
i used to feel very distant
until we end up in the same cubicle
life with its surprises eh?
this one here
was made for her
happiness formula written in it

happiness = appreciate the little things
happiness is a state of mind


Thursday, November 25, 2010

..especially for mediyla..

i'm not sure whether you have seen this or not
i tagged you in the video in fb
if you haven't
if you have
enjoy again

here's alpha in diaper

was put in diaper because of diarrhea
but it made her unstable
but she regained her balance a few minutes later
but had to walk bow legged

..when our eyes met..

i wonder why
the first was purely coincidence
my eyes went wild for a bit
searching for something to fulfill my desire
as my sight land on you
my heart skipped a beat
to have those eyes staring back at me
i began to feel uneasy
i kept telling myself
it's just a coincidence
a while later
again they met
this time i was beyond wonders
having sources who said you're taken
i can't let myself fall for you
but my
what a gentle feature you have
it calms me
and yet i have to remind myself of your status
i kept my eyes focus on other things than you that day
i couldn't imagine what i'd do
if our eyes caught each other
for the third time

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

..blogspot can think?..

i tried the "next blog" button on the top of the page
my previous layout does not portray any of the buttons
thus it get me a lil spike up
for a walk around the blog
guess what
one after another
after another
after another
and another
they're all about fashion!!
why i wonder
my blog is really fashion-less
i don't indulge myself in them
in my drawings maybe
but not on me
my fashion sense have w.e.i.r.d written all over them
then why does it direct me that way?
does blogger thinks i need to get my fashion straight?
that freaked me out
i'll try the button again tomorrow
hopefully it leads me somewhere more sensible
well, sensible in my sense
*which have n.o.n.s.e.n.s.e written all over them"
hee hee

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

..currently hook up..

was browsing thru some videos on youtube
was overwhelmed with jealousy all over
since i can't sing like they can
i can't play the piano like they can
can't even do beatboxing
have no talent being a comedian
all the usual
but i do enjoy them
once i got over the jealous part
i know i am meant for something else
i'm here to appreciate
and while browsing
i discovered with this video

i love the way they mash them up
love sam tsui's voice
happy listening~

ps: i have no idea how to scale down the video
can it be done? a lil advise?
it'd make my layout much more organized
thanks in advance

Monday, November 22, 2010

..manners please..

it's not under my scope of works
my work was to prepare the drawing
i don't meddle with construction
by all means
what you asked off me was a favor
and to tell the truth
i don't even work for your boss
i have my own boss
and she let me keep my head
 so that people won't take us for granted
but then again
considering we're friends
i gladly did what you asked
every time you asked
without fail
even with such performance
you could still beinconsiderate
i sure hope your changes was for ever
and not merely for a month or two
if you still haven't learn this lesson yet
let me tell you

you don't
put excl-


but no worries
i'm not mad
just a little unhappy
for the way i was treated
but you might have been under lots of pressure from the other party
i don't blame you
but please keep in mind
you never saw i yell out of rage
does not mean i can't
you are merely lucky

Sunday, November 21, 2010

..same mistake repeated..

oh my goodness!!
i can't believe this!!
actually i can
i predicted this would happen
i did nothing to hold myself firm

these past few days
my diet went hell

it was already a disaster on aidiladha
i ate a lot
no consideration of anything at all
spicy, weird looking, bitter
i ate them all

the next day (thursday) was worst
since i decided to go home that day
it was fine throughout the day
but later that night
as i reached home
oh, mama
maklong's rendang and kuah kacang are on the table
if they're some random rendang my dad bought
it's ok
i can deny them in an instant]
but it's maklong's!!
i debated and lost to temptation

the day after
since kaachan ain't cooking
dad bought dinner from uncle shah
the good thing
i said no to rice
but end up eating bihun tom yam and char kuey tiew
since i have not eaten since morning
the lust is kinda overbearing

the next day
we went to a wedding
and to my cousin's son aqiqah
i'm too embarrassed to elaborate in detail
let it be just me and my conscience

i'd be like this
stuffing my tummy up to more than full
whenever i'm home
restarting my diet tomorrow
i lost to chicken chop
i know i'm guilty but but but

when will i ever learn my lesson?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

..what do you see..

i browsed my cats' pictures again
missing them so much

i have tonnes of their pictures
mostly candid
 a few with their eyes looking straight at me
i slowed down
taking each one carefully
examining their hair
their expressions
their eyes

their eyes mesmerize me
they gave me the warmth i need
they tell me not to worry
they believe in me
that kind of eye
it mesmerizes me

has it always been that way
since the day you were born
do you always look at me with such hope?
with such trust?
without a single worry?

i love your accusing eyes
as if you know i've been lacking on my chores
i love your wilderness expression
as i show you another world's gadjet; the camera ;)
but above all
i love the tender warm gaze
i don't deserve them

mr. charlie
 mr. charlie
 ash and snowboy
 ash and snowboy
 ash and snowboy (always the same expression)

i wonder
what does my eyes say to you

mode: eric clapton - tears of heaven 

"would you know my name,
if i saw you in heaven?"

..tengoku de kimi ni aetara..

watched tengoku de kimi ni aetara last night
it means if i meet you in heaven
or its english title

it was based on a novel
which was written by a cancer patient
who was once on top of his game of wind surfer
who wrote the story based on his experiences

its one of the program by
24 jikan terebi (24-Hour Television)
where they reserved 24 hours of non stop live fund raising drive to raise money and promote awareness for people with special needs every summer

if you are interested to watch the show
prepare a box of tissue
you'd be overwhelmed

anyway, about the movie

*spoiler alert*

it's a story about a psychological doctor
who got appointed in a private hospital
which homed cancer patients
patients who wouldn't live long
his job?
listening to all the complaints
all the exasperation they felt
in time he helps his patient write a letter
for their loved ones
writing down things they can't say out loud

they introduced a few patients

the first was a successful chef
who strive hard to become one
and yet when he'd finally got there
cancer came along
he sets his rage out at his wife
with the doctor
he confide he's true feelings
how he was sorry his wife had to suffer with him
"i'm gonna left her behind"
"it's as if i cheat on her"

another patient was a wife of an economist
her husband was always busy
he didn't even notice
when she discover the cancer
he greatly regretted the way he treated her
and made a sudden change
which makes the wife said
"somehow i feel, it's good that i got the cancer"

and there's this one man
whose been there for quite some time
but was told recently that he's time almost up
and yet
he refused to let his family know
"there's no way i'd let them see me like this"

the last one was a little girl
she's been the coffee brewer in the counseling room
only towards the end they let us know she was also a patient there
she was actually the first patient that entered the room
and said
"i'd want to work here"
and when asked why she said
"adult would have to work right"
"but i'm not gonna live that long"

the girl was actually the toughest of them all

along with the story
here and there
they'd play eric clapton's tears in heaven in background

eventually the doctor help the patient
overcoming the barrier


i tried to imagine myself in their shoes
if i were to be told that i only had a month left
or perhaps if i were told someone dear to me only had a month left
and there's nothing i can do to help them
i hate feeling useless
but i can never know how that feel
and i pray i won't have to

the movie did left a mark on me
i'm not sure whether its from the movie
or because of aidiladha
i felt lonely and painful
as if something was being taken away from me
so abruptly it didn't give me time to react
i was left for the after-effect
 and that's torture

maybe i shouldn't watch this kind of movie

Thursday, November 18, 2010

..lost and insecure..

the other day
as posted a video of a song covered by the fray in her blog
i kinda like the vibe in his voice
and i'm always down for emotional angst mellow song
which would suit his voice
so i search for a title that suggest such genre
and i ended up listening to it everyday since

the fray - you found me

thanks as~ :)

Monday, November 15, 2010





Sunday, November 14, 2010

..biking at last..

after months of dreaming about it
i finally went biking

venue: botanical garden, ayer keroh
duration: 1 hour
rent fee: rm5 per hour
company: housemate; kak zah
mode: overexcited

5 min start and we're taking pict

so happyy!!

though we rent for an hour
half the time witnessed us push the bicycle up a hill
naik bukit sgt fail
15 minutes towards the end
we play around with other bikes they have
i tried the basikal dulu2 one
yg sangat tinggi tu
mountain bike
bike with small tyre
bicycle yg utk 2 org (whatsit call?)
this one siap takde brek
kak zah sgt cuak bile i amek lap
in the middle of lapping i said
"akak jgn la turun kaki~"
even bystanders pon entertained seeing us having fun

and i sweat a lot


..for my baby sis..

spm is getting near
and i realized i haven't made something yet for ira
it's has been like a tradition
that i drew something for my sis
whenever they have something like this
either going for big exam
or first time to be in a hostel
or something like that
i may have missed several times
but since now i remembered
and my hand is itching to draw
i made one for ira

this was taken yesterday
it was half way done then
notice the scrap paper behind
where you can see a sketch of the drawing
i don't usually sketch on a different paper
but since i lost my eraser
 and i can't erase rough sketches after i've inked them

here's the result

i'm still thinking of filling in the blank background
for the time being
this is how it looks

have the messages i put in the drawing reach your eyes yet?
if not
here what i meant for it to say

with effort
and doa
success is not a dream

i don't have a scanner to scan the pict yet
till then

Saturday, November 13, 2010

..where i belong..

*iya is an expression to express dislikeness in japanese*
*or here it is equivalence as sigh*

i don't really know how to say this
things are beginning to get rough
people start to feel the pressure
and in the density of the measure
they(the people) push them(the pressure) over to other
i got another 'advice' reply today

i made enemy with the client before
i think
i just made enemy with the contractor that sub-con us
(please take note, i exaggerate on the word enemy)

in both cases
i always find support by my side
she will fight along with me
defend me
while detaining little confidence i have in myself
for that
i thank you
i am blessed to be your disciple in my first job

as i read her reply mail
i felt a gripping sensation

i feel belong

"the place you belong to is next to the person you can be yourself with"
-quoted/translated from Yankee-kun to Megane-chan drama


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